It's Amazing What They Do With Corrugated Cardboard These Days

The painting? It’s finished. After nearly 30 hours of priming, painting, cleanup, and furniture rearranging, the house is finished. All I can say is thank goodness. This time around I actually saw Smoochie and had an hour-long conversation with him during the second coat of my Cranberry Whip montage. I’m not going to lie to you, Smoochie isn’t someone you want hanging around your kids.

Tomorrow is D-day. As in we will Dtermine the sex of our child through some complicated machine whose nickname is the “Transmorgifier.” I’m pretty sure the technicians can turn a little dial and change the sex of the baby if they want to, so I’m going in there with a stoic poker face prepared for a stare down. If I’m going to pay my penance through the gift of a daughter, so be it, but I’m sure as hell not going to advertise it. Let’s hope those hours watching Hold’em on ESPN pay off.